


All boys cry

by reddiesteddiengo



Series: it will all be alright, little sunshine [1]
Category: IT (2017)
Genre: :3, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak - Freeform, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I really wanted a short thing because I really like the idea anyways thank you, M/M, Richie Tozier - Freeform, a diary thing, for lavender blood, i update when I’m in a Writers block, im not sure, okay hope, sort of slow burn, u enjoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-08-14 09:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20190334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddiesteddiengo/pseuds/reddiesteddiengo
Summary: Dear diary,I feel like I should give you a nameHow does “all boys cry” sound like?I’ll just call you ABC for short.





	1. 10/8/19

**Author's Note:**

> This is exactly what you think it is.  
A journal about Eddie and his and richie’s Relationship.  
Eddie is a whirlwind of emotions  
And the therapist said that this is a good way to let the stress out.  
I would probably post extremely spontaneously  
Sometimes maybe twice a day  
I don’t know  
But I have a Spotify playlist for this  
I’ll link it here:  
https://open.spotify.com/user/ada2104/playlist/7rJMFcsumuSSUQp8W8AohC?si=lx-THq3FRPy683EdlXHtaQ
> 
> Hope you have fun !

dear diary,  
wait hold on, i don’t think i should call you diary  
everybody deserves a name  
i will come back to you when i have a name.  
anyways, ms philips said that i should talk about my feelings. so here it goes i guess.  
richie has been acting weird lately, and i think it’s because of me. when he’s walking me home, he talks less, and stares at the ground for most of the time.  
he did give me a link  
i think it’s to a playlist.  
he does this often, practically everyone (the losers) has one.  
how do i know if he likes me  
how do i know if i like him  
anyways i opened the link  
it is in fact a playlist  
it's called “all boys cry”  
that’s a pretty name,  
I like it.  
im getting tired  
im going to sleep  
goodnight  
10/8/19  
e.k


	2. 11/8/19

dear _____  
i am now giving you the option of choosing your own name  
you’re not a dog and you shouldn’t be treated like one  
i listened to the playlist. it’s confusing  
the first song that popped up reminded me of him.   
it’s called fear of intimacy  
richie has some good music taste  
the pills have gotten better, she stopped putting them in my food.  
i think it’s the reason why i kept on getting migraines.   
i saw him today, he stood at the outside of the school’s exit.   
i was confused, wanted to go say hi but couldn’t.  
my lungs hurt, but my inhaler is missing   
he didn’t talk, not surprising he rarely talks now a days.  
everybody’s worried,   
he’s been getting more tired lately  
I wonder what it’s from   
11/8/19  
e.k


	3. 12/8/19

Hello,  
I feel like I should explain what happened yesterday  
I Guess I just got really drunk with some alcohol that Beverly stole from a supermarket, and started writing things down.  
Sorry for that, you still smell like tequila and lime.  
The next song that played was “never be mine”  
It made me sad, but I didn’t know why. I just started crying.   
This isn’t helping, why isn’t it helping?  
I stopped by Richie’s house today. He looked fine.   
I asked him about the cigarettes, and he just shrugged his shoulders before walking away.  
His eyes were red as he looked at me.  
I knew he was lying  
Why was he lying?  
I though he trusted me?  
I knew that look anywhere  
It reminded me of my Father.   
As he walked out of the house  
I was 4.  
The lyrics   
“Hate to have to watch you go  
Thought I'd been through this  
Lord knows”   
Reminded me of him  
Why can’t I stop thinking about him?  
Stop stop stop stop stop  
Get out of my head  
The menthol scent still lingers on my shirt  
Even though I had washed it with bleach  
It still smells like you.  
goodbye,  
12/8/19  
e.k


	4. 13/8/19

Dear _____  
We went to the roller rink today  
He was there, he looked so lonely  
There was a small box of strawberries on the table  
They looked rotten under the yellow light  
Fruit flies infested the surroundings  
I asked him how he was doing  
He ran out of the building  
It was Cold  
He didn’t have a jumper  
Whatever  
He didn’t care about me, why should I give a fuck about him?  
I bought some supermarket flowers  
Wanted to go say hi  
But I sat outside of his house  
And ate all of the roses wilting leaves  
Those menthol cigarettes burnt outside of your house  
I took a lighter and set the roses on fire  
Pale white turning to an Amber under the crimson clouds  
I rode my bike home  
Blasting “big fat mouth” on my speaker  
I couldn’t see clearly  
The tears blocked my vision  
The therapist tells me to relax  
How do you fucking relax  
We used to be so good  
What happened?  
He wasn’t as faithful as he said he would be  
13/8/19  
e.k


	5. 14/8/19

Hello ______  
I bought my first lipstick today.  
I could feel their eyes watching me,  
But I don’t have the energy to bother.  
It’s a pretty shade of red.   
Like the crimson of a rose.  
It’s perfect.   
I tried to run home,   
But the bowers gang spotted me  
I don’t need the lipstick anymore  
The blood that coats my lips does the job just as nice.  
I went home and cried  
I tried to call him,   
But he wouldn’t pick up.  
I should have been hurt from the fight,  
But all I could feel was the pain in my chest.  
I think I’m addicted to him, but I don’t know how to get off.  
I cried into Bevs arms as she played music in the background  
Both of them were so much alike  
I see myself in her eyes as well.  
I feel disgusting.   
The strawberry perfume lingers in my room  
But the menthol is still present,   
Weighing the room down as the stars rest on the ceiling.  
I feel like I’m at the start and at the end of a joke.  
His lips, now a ghost, still hovering around my neck  
Why couldn’t he do that one thing for me,  
Is it too much to ask for?  
These songs have to mean something.   
I’m not sure what.   
“Little queenie” came up as the sun did too.  
Softly, like a caress against my cheek.  
There’s blood on the floor again.  
Goodbye,  
e.k  
14/8/19


End file.
